Well, hello there. As I alluded to in my last post, there is a LOT going on...which will likely come out in blips and blurbs...and totally stream of consciousness.
First...Mother's Day. It was kinda tough this year. Worst part was that I lost a dear friend and mother figure. Her memorial was beautiful though. And bittersweet. Seeing a lot of old friends and my last visit to my beloved Drayton Hall for the forseeable future. But also good in that we all shared memories and lessons she taught us. Most of all, she listened. And cared. Guided, but did not judge. And celebrated our successes, large and small. Rest in peace, sweet lady. I hope I make you proud.
Most of you know I often enter (and win) contests. I had a hard time with Mother's Day contests, though, because so many asked to share something my mother taught me. Some words of wisdom. It's pretty difficult to do that when I am distancing myself from my mother for the sake of self-preservation. But, in the end, something did come to me.
My mother taught me to admit my mistakes. Come clean. Take responsibility. A lot of things have happened the last few years. I have owned up to things I have done wrong. Unfortunately, my biggest failure is choosing to surround myself with people who don't do the same. And who don't mind hurting others (namely me) in the process. But, I have grown stronger. I am standing up for myself more. I have also discovered that the corollary to that is that I am responsible for me. And only me. I can no longer carry other people's burdens.
So, my takeaway from this Mother's Day is to be responsible for myself. Not only to admit my failures, but to take credit for what I do well. I need to let go of of the past -- of things and people that no longer serve me -- and accept things I cannot change. I need to forgive more. Starting with myself.