Muse

Been quite a while since I posted. Lots going on personally, which will make their way here soon. I have had a lot on my mind recently and, for whatever reason, have not felt compelled to post here. That is odd in itself as I tend to express myself better through writing. Maybe it will come with time.

I feel like I have been in a state of melencholy for the last four years. I had a strange sort of inspiration today viewing works by Andrew Wyeth. If you know me at all you know that I have a reluctancy to trust my own views about art. I had quite an experience, though, viewing Greenville's  Andrew Wyeth collection today.

When I was in middle school I had an art teacher that everyone thought was weird. I, of course, adored her. She introduced me to Andrew Wyeth and I was hooked. When I went to work at an art museum some 20 years later, I immediately was drawn to Wyeth. Now I always find myself intrigued by his work. I've attended several talks now, even those my the illusrious Victoria "Vic" Wyeth, and still feel so drawn to his work. I can't put my finger on why. Maybe it will reveal itself in the next step of my life story?

We'll see....

Need. To. Blog.

So, I've started a new job and am busier than ever. I am really liking this area of the world, though. It's very much like Philly or Baltimore, but with southern charm. Methinks that Garden and Gun was right about this hidden gem.

I have been exploring thrift stores and the plethora of chain, as well as local stores here. Very cool. I also really like a certain small town here where you can get houses (no lie!) at a third of the price as what we saw in MD. Crazy. I was pretty much sold on moving there until we discovered another place. It's what realtors often call a "transitional neighborhood." My mom would call it the slums. Let's split the difference and call it "the arts district." We have to think of safety, schools, etc. but, of course, that is now where L wants to live. It is really cool. I explored the art hop last night and it was very lively. I was out of sorts a little not working or knowing the artists personally, but it was kind of nice to be out and about. I think I'm gonna like it here :-)

So, even though I've got very little down time, I am really feeling the need to be in this space more. Let's see if I can stick to it.

PS: If you don't read Garden and Gun, you should.

Blog Hiatus

So, a little lull in my blogging...

A lot is going on here in these parts, so it may be a while before I'm back in this space. After moving to Maryland for what I thought was a good opportunity, let's just say it turned out not to be so great. The good news is that I found a great job in Greenville, SC, which has recently been featured on NPR and (more importantly...at least in our house) in Garden and Gun magazine. I think it's a good compromise -- close to W-S, Charleston, Asheville, Charlotte and Atlanta. Oh, and an airport with Southwest service. Not a bad deal. Best thing is that the people I work with/for seem to be great. And the museum is new and growing. I am excited to say I have already run into several people I knew growing up, which is nice.

I promise to be back soon. Until then, carry on....

Remembering 9/11

It may be trite in the blogosphere at this point, but I feel I must write something to commemorate the events of 9/11/01 even if only to refresh my own memory. So here goes:

I think everyone's memories have begun with how beautiful that day was. I remember getting dressed, wearing black sandals (I'm a southerner and would never do white!) and watching the Today show. I may be imagining it, but I'm fairly sure Katie and/or Matt made a reference about the exceptional weather and the camera panning to the towers. I had interviewed for a job I hoped I would get, as I had just finished my MA and was grateful my supervisors had allowed me to continue my internship in the interim. My job was at the Watergate which, for those of you who aren't familiar with DC, is within viewing distance of the Pentagon and relatively near several government buildings. I was excited about the prospects of working and living in a fun city as a young, hip professional.

I was listening to Elliot in the Morning, a radio show made up of some potty-mouthed jokesters, as I began my daily tasks. My mom, ever the worrier, had called to warn me to get out of the city. After that first plane hit, she suspected terrorists. I assured her it was a prop plane...and an accident. The second plane hit. The mood on the radio turned somber. I was scared. Then the plane hit the Pentagon -- which I could see from the roof of my building -- then another went down in PA. Where was the next one? What should I do? Where should I go? A dear co-worker thankfully walked me all the way to the zoo metro stop, which is at least three miles. I reluctantly got on a train there and then walked the few blocks to my house in Bethesda. My feet were blistered from my sandals, but I didn't realize it until much later. My roommate greeted me at the door with a terrified look on her face, although she was happy I was home. Our dear friend and world traveler had a flight that morning, but Lauren couldn't remember where. With all the phones out, we couldn't get in touch with her. Luckily, Natalie had an early flight and was already on the ground in Chicago.

That day seemed incredibly long. I remember checking on family (my dad was traveling) and friends, even learning that a good friend's husband was safe but his office was gone. Another friend who, thankfully, is not the most punctual was running late that day and didn't make it to towers before they fell. Hard to believe they had nothing to go back to the next day. At least they were safe! I will never foreget the next few days and weeks after the event. We watched as the Pentagon continued to smolder. I always thought about the people who were on 395 as the plane that hit the building must have flown directly overhead. It was surreal to see tanks on the streets of DC. I felt like I was in a movie or a foreign country where martial law is the norm. Totally bizarre.

I didn't get that job. In the next few months, almost all the jobs for which I had applied would go unfilled. Busses could not go into the city and tourism was down. I don't think a lot of people realize how museums and attractions even now continue to be affected by that awful tragedy. I would soon lose several relatives and find myself crying on the train and walk home. I wanted to be anywhere but in the city. I went to NYC a few months later and was amazed by how everyone had joined together and the city was bouncing back. But I didn't want to be in that city, either.

I moved back "home" and have never looked back. I never realized until today, ten years later, how profoundly that one event affected me. I complain all the time how it affected my job prospects and I am still trying to find my footing in this field. But only now am I beginning to see how it changed me. How I remember caring not about buildings or jobs on that day, but wanting to know everyone was safe. I am grateful that all of my friends and family were safe on that day and that my memories were of people coming together, of loved ones watching the news and crying together. I will never forget seeing devastation firsthand or the fear of everyone rushing out of the city on that day. But I will carry with me most my friend walking with me, my roommate hugging me as I walked in the door, chatting with neighbors as we stocked up on provisions, and the feeling of unity in a usually divided city.

In some ways it feels like it was just yesterday. In others, it feels like it was a lifetime ago. While I mourn the lives lost on that day, I also celebrate the spirit of America. What's really sad is that so much of that spirit has disappeared in the last few years. What will it take to get the feelings of love and unity back?

Back to School

I want to start by saying how proud I am of my little boy. He is doing extremely well in speech therapy and at his daycare/preschool. Every day when we ask where he is going, he exictedly says "tool." Ehhh...close enough. He is even counting, learning colors, and saying "please." All this from a boy who barely said two words a few months ago! If he gets through his next urology appointment ok, we will really be thrilled :-)

So, the kids in my home town went back to school this week. I enjoyed seeing all the photos on facebook and reading all the blogs. Seeing kids growing up is really bittersweet. On the other hand....free time for mom! It was especially cute to see photos of little Amelia, as her dad was in my kindergarten class. How time flies....

It seems like just yesterday I was picking a new outfuit and eating french toast on my first day of school. Oh wait...I went to school until I was 28. That wasn't so long ago -- haha.

On Sunday night, I also got another crack at a tradition my big brother started when I was little. For those of you not in the know, my siblings are 9, 10, and 12 years older. Being the oldest, my brother thought it was funny to come in the night before the first day and sing "turn out the lights....the party's over now" to us. He continued to do this as he went to college, then as we all went through college and grad school. So, of course, I now do it for my young nieces and nephews. It's always really fun to hear their groans and/or excitement. This year, they are starting in grades 3, 7, 8, and 10. It won't be long before Sully goes to big "tool" and I will laugh, cry or a little of both.

Good luck on a great year to all the kids, moms, and teachers out there!

Free?

I've had a pretty darn challenging week, but I don't want to talk about that here. I am really trying to stay positive in this space. I do want to bring attention to something that I've noticed lately that I want to offer as a PSA. So here goes...

Nobody loves cheapies and freebies more than this girl. If you know me at all, you have likely asked where I got what I was wearing and heard one of two responses -- thrift store or free box. I don't like to pay a ton of money for things. I do, however, value certain things. Like good service and buying local. I am willing to pay a little extra if I believe in my purchase. Yes, you read that correctly. Since I have worked in the museum field for about 15 years now, I really value the preservation of historic sites and good quality experiences. Most people in museums work for little or no pay. Museums and arts venues/programs are often the first things to get cut from budgets. And while I understand such things from a political and economic POV, I still don't like to see cultural resources neglected. Quite simply, we can't get things back once they are destroyed. Also, everyone enjoy these forms of "edutainment" (for lack of a better term) but people often aren't as quick to support them.

So, where am I going with this? Oh yeah. If you like the free music in the park, or the free museum admission, please "put your money where your mouth is." BTW, museums like the Smithsonian are NOT free. You pay dearly with your tax dollars. Nobody wants to pay more taxes, but how do you think those places run? Also, everyone wants to have free admission to places. Trust me, most museum people I know are pretty populist and would like nothing more than open the doors. The reality is, however, that we're already working with a slim budget and we have to eat, too. So, it's wonderful to take advantage of coupons or special discounted admission days. But, why not buy a membership or a something from the gift shop?

So, there you have it. The queen of bargains is telling you to go spend extra money on valuable cultural resources. Besides, when you consider the prices of movie tickets, pedicures, etc., maintaining these precious gems in our society is a real bargain. So, next time you pass the donation box at a "free" site why not pay to help keep it free, to keep the doors open, and maybe even to keep the place standing? Your arts, historical and cultural sites depend on and APPRECIATE your support.

Now, go out and enjoy your weekend. And if you choose to visit one of these great places on a weekend or holiday, please be pleasant to the staff who are giving up their holiday to accommodate visitors.

Blogs, blogs and more blogs

With all the crappiness going on in my life for the past few years, I'm amazed I've been able to laugh a bunch of it off and keep my head held high. It is helpful when you have an adorable little munchkin to make you smile. Reading blogs and now starting this one has been helpful. I was reluctant to do either at first, because I really didn't want to get sucked into "mommy blogging." Besides, the selection of blogs is pretty darn overwhelming! My problem with typical mommy bloggers is that they come across as whiney. I do not want to hear about how gosh darn awful it is to stay home with your kids. I loved being home for the way-too-short time I was with my boy, but it just wasn't in the cards for us. And if it's such a bad situation, why not quit like you would any bad job? It's certainly not for the pay or perks. So, I've limited myself to people I actually know and/or people who feature their life as a mom, with it's ups and downs, but more as a joy and challenge. I have even turned away from blogs that others have told me are "hysterical" because, simply put, they are not. I tend to be more amused by wit and subtle "British-style" humor. In-your-face attempts at humor, like recent sitcoms and SNL, simply do not bowl me over. They simply come across as trying too hard. That's why I prefer and have chosen to be a "mom who blogs" instead.

Today I read a blog that I recently started following that had something good to say. Referencing the book _Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action_, she talked about how too often we focus on the “what” we want to achieve without figuring out “why” first. But if you first have the “why” firmly in place it will guide all the decisions you make and allow you to stay on your true path. Sounds simplistic but it really is true. I have been feeling this way a lot lately, trying to make the big decision about where I want to go from here. Do I want to stay in my field, even if it means moving someplace that is not my choice? Or do I move to where I want to be and do something totally different? I need to start focusing on the WHY!! Maybe that will lead me to where I want and need to be. I also used to do something that I borrowed from a former co-worker that has been sorely missed in my life. Every day she simply made a list. Two lists actually. One was easy -- "To Do." The other, not so much. "Ta Da." Yes, a daily reminder of something good for the day. Why is it so much easier to identify things that need to be done and much more difficult to scrounge up at least one good thing about the day? So, I have made it a goal to revive these daily lists.

Back to the topic of blogs... (BTW, I think the article I read about motherhood ADHD is accurate!) I have also been really enlightened and snapped into realizing how lucky I am by reading some blogs. Really, even with some health concerns, I have a beautful healthy child. I have been moved to tears by stories of heartache over sick and deceased children. My mom was widowed (with three kids) at 21 and always remained close to her late husband's family. She always said it must be the hardest thing in the world to lose a child. After reading so many stories, I must agree. So, I have become increasingly grateful for a little boy that came into the world on his own terms and has forced me to embrace his stubbornness.

Before I go off to make a list for today, I have to share one thing. I completely forgot about one of the things that drives me mad in my pet peeve list. If I want to make a cup of tea, I boil just enough water. For some reason my husband and mom (who are terribly alike and dirve each other and me crazy because of it) will boil a whole kettle of water. It is irritating because, of course, it only means you must wait even longer for the dang water to boil. Aaaaand -- there's always an and if I get really gripy -- I have to pour out a whole stinkin' pot of water the next time I use the kettle. I don't know why I find that simple action so frustrating. I just do ok? Why? Because I'm the mommy. Just not a "mommy blogger!"